Futility

And in that hour of absolute pain
When I realized I had nothing to gain
I could only wait and see
If things were really meant to be.

As I waited for that whispered word
I knew at once I was being absurd
In hoping for that which will never be
The truth is You don't belong to me!

If I really had held on to your heart
Today we wouldn't suffer being apart
I had let go for a reason unknown
But now I find my love has grown.

The love has blossomed so fine and well
Even without you, here in hell,
I watch as its beyond my ability
And find my efforts end in futility.

I reach and grab with all my strength
And stretch to the limits of my length
The length of my very being and soul
I look for that which will make me whole.

I yearn for a loving word and caress
And those thoughts make me regress
To a place where finally I know I will be
At the peak of being joyous and happy!

But gone are those days in reality
When you and I were one entity
We shared our every thought and feeling
And now before the Lord I am kneeling

As I ask for just one more day
Where the sun rose my way
And set only when we were apart
Those memories are engraved in my heart!